Teaching and Parenting with Relevance

Dear Parents,

There are many new things being taught to educators today. Teachers are trained to appreciate the different learning modalities: verbal learners learn best by hearing a lecture, visual learners learn best by seeing the information in front of them, and tactile learners actually learn best through a “touchy-feely approach,” e.g. through the use of math manipulatives. This may be why so many students are excited when Smart Boards are used in their classes; the Smart Board allows them to experience a minimum of two of these modalities. On his recent visit, Rabbi Ginsberg shared with our teachers another teaching secret: using the “relevance of the lesson” to the content area being taught. If one is teaching a Talmud lesson on the Judaic court system of yesteryear, students will internalize that lesson best if it is made relevant to the current American court system. Many creative ideas flow from this concept. In Blooms Taxonomy, which all teachers study in university, we learn that the highest level of learning is that of application, which is known in Hebrew as “mesima.” This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to see the Living Torah Museum in action at the Providence Community Kollel’s annual Jewish Unity Live event. The crowd was mesmerized by Rabbi Deutsch’s presentation of his collection of artifacts dating back thousands of years. Imagine a student viewing an authentic “machatzis hashekel” when studying parshas Ki Sisa, or seeing the stones that the Romans catapulted against the walls of Yerushalayim when learning about that time period, or studying the design of the helmet that Goliath wore to protect his body, and the slingshot balls that finally killed him at the hands of Dovid Hamelech. These applications are a wake-up call to us as principals, rabbeim, moros, and teachers about the power that relevance has in ensuring that our children internalize our lessons.

This also leaves much for us to consider as parents when raising our children. Children are very astute in picking up on the many values that we try to impart to them. Children whose parents study with them and review their homework with them, or study on Shabbos with them, can create a special bond and help their children develop into lifelong learners. We can’t ask our children to study Torah or expect them to view it as “relevant” if it isn’t one of our values. If we want to impart to our children the beauty of Shabbos, then our Shabbos table needs to reflect that Shabbos is special, and the meal can’t just be a recap of the past week’s sports scores. Aside from the values that we impart through our actions, there is a side benefit that we gain as well. I would like to introduce this through the story of a young lady who took the afikoman, as was the tradition in her home. As “tzafun” came close, her father began to negotiate the gift she would receive for returning the treasured afikoman. The father was totally unprepared for what his daughter requested. She could have easily requested the most recent toy or item, and he would have readily given it to her; however, her request that year was different than any other year. His daughter asked, “Dad, can I have two hours of your time?” In a difficult economy and a busy world, where recent research show that more than 60% of women have been forced to enter the workplace, our children are often not getting the attention they need from their parents. This is a very telling story, but by maximizing our seudos on Shabbos, by learning with our children, and by giving each child some quality time, we can overcome some of these obstacles. All too often, the problems that occur with children can be avoided or remedied when they receive the attention that they need from us. If the children can’t find it at home, they will often seek it elsewhere. As we enter the period between Purim and Pesach, we have a wonderful opportunity to integrate the values and spirit of Pesach into our family. Make a trip to a matzah-baking factory or the Living Torah Museum, have the children assist with ageappropriate Pesach preparation chores, or just allow them the time to share the divrei Torah that they learned at school at your Shabbos table, Purim seudah, or Pesach seder. Remember: the more you invest in this relationship, the more benefits you will reap. May Hashem bless all of us with the wisdom and strength to impart true Torah values to our children!

Good Shabbos
Rabbi Peretz Scheinerman, Dean